SANDRA TSING LOH is a contributing editor to LA Times Opinion (the Op-ed section once briefly known albeit quickly forgotten as Current.) She is also not-very-secretly the LA Times School Me! blog’s lead Magnet Yenta. She takes her solo show, "Mother on Fire," to the Women's Building in
What a tale of urban renewal it tells! To wit: Tony V … picked up a drill. Until Tony V arrived at City Hall, did any mayor even think to just pick up a drill? Mayors previous to Tony V were not even aware a drill was needed. Jeans, too, they did not own. Or a simple T-shirt. Such garb was unfamiliar to them. But not to our Tony. Let's go,
And, in fact, the photo did mark a happy occasion. It was taken during Big Sunday,
Contrast this giddy moment with that other, less successful mayoral fix-up project — rescuing
Unfortunately, as our mayor (and close readers of this paper) should know by now, the
Indeed, if Tony wanted to wield his drill at a school, we can just imagine the district's mood-puncturing objections:
"Records indicate that your drill is not OSHA-approved."
"Hey Tony! Don't look now, but you're about to drill into a reservoir of trapped toxic gas."
"While the mayor drills for free, District 3 union workers lose medical benefits."
I gently mock; but citizens of
Recently, a mother at my daughter's school wanted to volunteer her time to start an after-school knitting club. Third-, fourth- and fifth-grade girls around her were possessed by knitting fever (picture glasses glittering with excitement). They couldn't wait to make scarves, bags, hats.
But no. Battle-scarred LAUSD veterans went into red alert. No knitting club! No! Some fourth-grader stabs her finger with a needle and it's a multimillion-dollar lawsuit!
Because I did not duck quickly enough when the California PTA insurance guideline booklet was flung, it fell to me to look for possible (yarn-friendly) loopholes. And yes, if the PTA sponsored the activity, interestingly enough, the state PTA insurance did cover everything from crafts to "cow bingo" (apparently a beloved old PTA fundraising chestnut in which players bet money on where a cow is going to poop — how delightfully Midwestern. Who knew?)
But even more fascinating is what school activities aren't allowed. These include donkey basketball, dart games, dunk tanks, fireworks, monster trucks, pyrotechnics, stage diving, air shows and yes. . . human cannonballs.
"Human cannonball" is listed, without irony, in the official California PTA "do not do" guidelines. Which means, by inference, some freewheeling parent group once — once — eagerly offered it up: "Human cannonball spring fundraiser." Festoon with bunting, what could go wrong?
As an LAUSD parent trying to Do Good, I, like Tony V., am certainly no fan of the bureaucracy. But at the same time, I've come to see that, as with any truly democratic organization, rules and regulations are part of the continual balancing act between what's good for the community and the (human cannonballing) individual. Public schools — and public school systems — are, after all, living human organisms, full of diametrically opposed personalities. (Indeed, sometimes public school life can feel like living in a commune of divorced parents trying to cooperate for the sake of the children while their home is undergoing constant remodeling. If you're lucky!)
Because of the complexity, moving the LAUSD into a new era will take more than a quick swing of a hammer, the stroke of a pen or the embrace of a buddy. Would-be reformers will only truly get their chance if they come live with the Borg as we are, for a year, a month, a week. Or at least, for our very busy mayor, as Principal for a Day?
I see a photo op!
Do bring your toothbrush.
Don't bring a drill.
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